She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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