i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
