I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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