You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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