trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
