erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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