Sry I called you an 8
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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