Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
