I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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