Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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