Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
