yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
