I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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