You can't special order awesome
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
