I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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