im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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