Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.