My balls are so social today.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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