dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Randomize
