Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
