her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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