I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
