In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
