i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
