My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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