i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."