Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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