hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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