i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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