you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
