Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize