i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
