glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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