Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
