none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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