Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
