Your mouth is God's brothel.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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