My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
