Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
