I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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