are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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