stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
