guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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