those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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