i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
