You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
