Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
