Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
