I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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