haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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