I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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