i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
