Please, let me fuck your mom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
handjob tips. give me some.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
