And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You are the jesus of drinking
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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