K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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