so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
