Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
