I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.