I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE