Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
